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January 22, 2006

Alla Khazam!

And after the spanking, the oral sex. ~ Carol Cleveland as Dingo, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (via one or more of the holy six)

Just look at this glorious creature. Unghhhhh.

Has there ever been a bottom in greater need of spanking?

I want one. Just to play with? For a little while? Please?

Naughty Bits by Doxy at 10:08 PM | permalink | talkback (1)

January 20, 2006

Phone: Home

Communism is like one big phone company. ~ Lenny Bruce

Vonage: A Loving Hate Ballad

Phone company evil.
Switched to Vonage.

Service issues.
Money saved.
Service issues
Money saved.
Service issues.
Money saved.
Service issues.
Money saved.
Service issues.

Repeat chorus.

If you can't get me. This is why.
That or I'm avoiding you.

Idle Prattle by Doxy at 11:18 AM | permalink | talkback (1)

January 09, 2006

I Don't Care If It Rains Or Freezes, Long As I Got My Chocolate Penis

The chocolate coating makes it go down easier. ~ Carol Kane as Valerie in The Princess Bride (via William Goldman)

It really doesn’t make any sense to crack a joke about this. What is there to mock about a do-it-yourself milk chocolate penis kit?

Oh wait. Lots.

You know that saddest part is that my first concern is about what kind of chocolate they’re including in the kit. Crappy milk chocolate would be a terrible waste of time and an erect penis. Now, make me a cock treat out of solid semi-dark Ghirardelli and that’s a gesture a girl can get wet in the knickers about.

Naughty Bits by Doxy at 06:47 PM | permalink | talkback (2)

January 05, 2006

A Year Dead For Tax Reasons

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. ~ Dr. Carl Sagan

There is always that hulking burden of expectation after going a long period without updating a blog. There’s the implied betrayal of your reader base, the whispering guilt of shrugged-off responsibility, etc. It’s like not paying your taxes for a couple of years and then suddenly wondering where and how to pick up again. Except with the lapsed blogging there’s none of that pesky hauling off to jail for tax evasion, so it’s possible that parallel is a little less than accurate.

So, anyway, I’m officially blowing off any “What I Did on my Blogging Vacation” entries. There were holidays. There were friends. There was flu and cold season. There was phone sex. It was all very eventful and very boring at the same time.

Being as the hangover has nearly worn off I will be semi-responsible in this, my first entry back from the void (as well as continuing the tax theme of the previous paragraphs) and talk briefly about Tax Grrl.

A few months ago I got a rather snippy email from my accountant. In said email, he asked me to remove his name and contact information from the tax advice section of my website. It seems my Google juice was more powerful than any other page on the web which included his name and several of his clients had raised eyebrows.

The snippy tone of the email bothered me because I had told him when I became his client that I would be happy to promote his services if he wanted me to, but that I wasn’t sure how much of his company information he wanted on my website. His replay was a scoff and a smile and words to the effect of “what care I for the affairs of such close-minded mortals?”

I don't blame anyone for covering their own ass. I do blame them for trying to make me out to be the big bad wolftress in the process.

I removed his information that same day and e-mailed him back with a copy of our previous correspondence in which he specifically asked for his full company info to be listed on my site. I decided at that stage that it wasn’t enough to just list professionals that “accept” adult-industry clients, but that whenever possible I wanted to tout those genuine professionals who go the extra step in accommodating we naughty vixens of the wicked ways.

While my Phone Sex Tax Help Resource Page has listed Taxgrrl for some time now, I haven’t addressed it here directly in the blog. I’m also going to add her to my blogroll thru April (and possibly after). Generally I shy away from professionals that claim to “cater” to the adult industry (because often they say “cater” but mean “exploit) but Taxgrrl is a good egg and I’ve heard great feedback from others about her.

Located in Vermont, Taxgrrl handles all taxes (local, state, federal) for all 50 states (some states don’t have local/state taxes – there has to be some benefit to living in FL). She is a former Phone Sex Operator and has been doing adult industry returns off and on for several years. She has many PSO clients, but confidentiality is a tax preparer's (legal) obligation, so put aside all those cat-fighting instincts and recognize a good thing when you see it.

Taxgrrl doesn’t charge by the hour, but by the complexity of a return. Additional services, depending on how complex are quoted on an individual basis. She is also a teaching professional who will take the time to explain as much as you want to learn – her goal is that PSOs should not be beholden to a tax professional, but should be able to at least verify their own returns, even if they don’t want to do them. She makes a decided effort to help PSOs (and all adult industry workers) to take control of their finances and empower themselves to be financially proactive.

In addition to tax returns, she’s happy to discuss second-level finance management as well, including IRAs, ROTHs, advice for first-time homebuyers, Heath/Medical savings accounts, etc.

The average PSO return tends to average between $160 and $240 depending on which state you reside in and how complex your situation is. Obviously, the more complex and disorganized your finances are, the more expensive your return will be.

The best way to prepare for tax season is to always be aware that it's coming. Death and taxes, people, hiding under the covers solves nothing. The more organized you are, the less frantic you’ll find your preparations and the less murky gray areas you’ll be worried about. Keep good detailed records, keep multiple business endeavor transactions separate and don’t get behind. Paying estimated tax and being ahead of the game is crucial. The easiest way to sink into a helpless pit of debt is by starting your own business and half-assing your taxes.

See? Back from the void and feeling all helpful-like. Aren’t you glad you didn’t delete me from your RSS feeds?

Idle Prattle | Phone Sex by Doxy at 03:13 PM | permalink | talkback (1)